My soul waits

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord more then watchmen wait for the morning.

Psalm 130:5-6

Unconditionial love

I met her when I was first married. She was my husband's aunt and what one might call, a real pistol. She was inquisitive, and honest. Boldly honest.

She and her husband never had any children, but as the "great" aunt, she mothered all of  her nieces and nephews. I can hardly remember a time when she did not light up a room she entered.

I lost my Mom when I was still in my twenties. Not having any siblings, it was a time that left me feeling very much alone. None of  my friends had lost parents. Yet here I was, young and newly married, feeling a deep sense of loss in my life.

Five months after my Mom passed away, this aunt lost her own 91 year old mother. Her loss drew us together like a magnet.  Three years later, when her own husband died, she showed her resilience during her time of deep loss. The bond between us grew even more.

What started as visits and spending time together, grew into a deep loving relationship. She became the "adopted" mother to me, and when my children came along, she became their "adopted" grandmother.  She came to every family event. Never failed to send birthday and anniversary cards. We enjoyed going to lunch or just out for ice cream. Shopping excursions became a fun day. At Christmas, my kids would decorate her whole house. For twenty five years, she was a fixture in our lives.

As her health began to fail, it became necessary to move her into an assisted living facility. My children and I helped her downsize from her home to a little apartment. Then came the day when she could no longer live alone. A caregiver was hired to tend to her needs.Visits became more difficult.

When a stoke finally left her with little strength, it broke my heart to see her struggle. Dementia started creeping in. But she never forgot us. Her eyes would light up and a smile would shine on her face whenever we came to visit.

Through all the years, the one thing that radiated within her, was her unconditional love. It wasn't just with our family, she loved and cared for everyone that came within her radar. She took meals to lonely widows, even when she was a widow herself. She visited anyone who was sick. She was a party girl, and loved being included with family and friends. Everyone loved her as much as she loved them. At times she would tell me she didn't think she was very pretty. But in my eyes, she was beautiful. Her smile alone was like a ray of sunshine.

In all the years we shared together, I only heard her speak once of a person who had hurt her. But she never withheld her love.

We don't always seek out close friendships with people older than our peers. But my life has been richer for having experienced this kindred spirit.  I learned so much from her and deeply miss our times together. She will be forever in my heart as an example of sharing unconditional love.

Books

My home has always been filled with the aroma of printed paper. Ever since I was a young child, a book was a friend who would go with me and fill my life with entertainment. Books capture my imagination and take me to places I will never visit. I relish entering into the lives of characters who often defy odds. 

When we travel, I make it a habit of searching out places where older books are sold. I found a half price book store in Minnesota, and there's always a wide variety of books at the Goodwill or Hospice thrift stores. Have I found treasures? Yes, I often find out of print books or by some of my favorite authors. 

One thing has perked a question in my mind. With all of the ebooks on Kindle and other hand held devices, what is happening to the printed word? Will we still go to the library or book store to acquire a solid, page turning book? Maybe one day books will become obsolete, but for now I think not. I recently went into two thrift stores, and is my habit, went to the book section. As I stood there, head leaning to the right searching out titles, the whole section filled with people. It becomes a bit of a treasure hunt, mostly because the books are not sectioned. But oh the fun and thrill of finding that one special prize. A title, or an author that will take me away to places where my imagination will fill in the gaps. 

Let's not lose the love of books. I've passed that love on to my children. And I hope they will pass it on to the next generation.

Are you listening?

When we travel,  we will stop and pick something up and keep on making the miles.

On one recent trip we stopped at this place -

Hubby parks and I went inside to place a to go order. It wasn't a difficult order, but I found it interesting that the young man who waited on me was not listening. He heard me, and even repeated what I ordered, but he was not listening. 

So when my order arrives, I ask is one coffee decaf? "Oh you wanted a regular coffee too?" he says. Yes one regular and one decaf.  And then I ask, "is one oatmeal only with butter?" He looks at me, "you wanted one with only butter?" "Yes" I said.

So the young man goes back and fixes another oatmeal, and pours a regular coffee.

Now I've been to many fast food places in my time, and sometimes they don't always get my order right. But this young man heard what I said but was not listening. 

Is that what I do with God? Do I sometimes think I hear the voice of the Lord, but am I listening?

For two years I prayed fervently about a situation. Every day I implored with my Heavenly Father to intervene. In my prayers I felt confidant that the Lord would hear my prayers and answer the way I wanted.  But in the end, it was not so. I felt disappointed and discouraged. Why had God not answered my prayers? Doesn't the scripture say "seek and you shall find, ask and it will be given unto you?"

You see, this was someone that is very close to me. And I wanted so badly for this person's life to turn around and return to the obedience of God's will. Yet every time I questioned God about this outcome, I sensed Him saying, Do you trust Me? Yes, Lord I trust you. But see, this is someone close to me, and this person knows better. But do you trust Me? Lord, I do trust you, but ...  Do you trust ME?

Chuck Swindoll once said, " God does not greatly use the man who He does not first greatly wound." Do I feel wounded? Yes, hurt and wounded. But I do know that God is faithful, and I CAN TRUST HIM!

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for HE who promised IS faithful." Hebrews 10:23

For me to live is Christ

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."   Philippians 1:21

These very profound words had such an impact. As our Pastor was preaching from this passage one Sunday he began to cry. He said that as he studied this passage, the realization of his mortality grabbed him. He wrestled with the fact that he really wanted to see his children grow up. He wanted to be here with his family. And yet, the scripture teaches that to die is gain.

Day by day, as we each walk the pathway we are to go, life just seems to keep going. Until we are stopped in our tracks with the loss of a loved one or friend. It is then that we start thinking of the "other side".

 15 years ago, on a Sunday morning, during the middle of a raging hurricane, my BFF lost her battle with cancer and walked into the arms of Jesus. I have missed my sweet friend all these years, but on that Sunday the Pastor's message brought a sense of peace to my heart. You see, Diana was such a special friend. She walked beside me for almost 20 years, encouraging me, always with love and a smile. It is selfish of me to want her to be here, when she has gained so much more. As she reached out her hand that Sunday morning, she left behind her tired body to walk with Jesus. I can almost picture her in my minds eye, looking back at all of us and saying, "It's all right, I'm whole now."

Mark 8:35 states: “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it” (ESV).

 

Jesus Christ offers you the greatest freedom - in learning how to die, we learn how to live.

May We Never Forget

In the United States, Sept. 11 has become a day that haunts the nation of the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Since the attacks, the day has been called Patriot Day and serves as a day to remember those who lost their lives. The day was passed by Congress on Oct. 25, 2001 and was signed into law by then President George. W. Bush. 

 "Now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. It’s a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. But not only of loss and mourning. It’s also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and the love that lays down its life for a friend–even a friend whose name it never knew." -- President George W. Bush

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.  John 15:13

Un-aging youth

For close to 30 years, I looked forward to the start of school.

Whenever school supplies started showing up at the stores, a little thrill of excitement quivered through me. The kids and I would mark our way towards the hunt.

 New pens and pencils.

The smell of glue and the right pair of paper scissors.

Crayons and colored pencils in every hue of color. With new ones appearing every so often.

 Paper, paper, paper.

And of course a new bag to carry every little thing.

The school year marks the progression of time. We grow older and we leave behind the things of our youth. We learn and move onward towards being an adult. Making our way in this thing we call life.

Yet spiritually, we never grow old. Even with the passing of years we hover in un-aging youth. Totally opposite of natural life. If we study God's word, seeking to be more Christlike, we become more like a little child. Simple. Childlike. Trust. Inevitably, we grow younger instead of older.  Revelation 22:13 states, "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last."  When we trust Jesus with child-like faith, we begin the journey of eternal childhood. It is my desire to lean on my heavenly Father with the faith of a child. 

 

Trusting. 

 

Learning. 

 

Loving.