I met her when I was first married. She was my husband's aunt and what
one might call, a real pistol. She was inquisitive, and honest. Boldly
honest.
She and her husband never had any children, but as the "great" aunt, she
mothered all of her nieces and nephews. I can hardly remember a time
when she did not light up a room she entered.
I lost my Mom when I was still in my twenties. Not having any siblings,
it was a time that left me feeling very much alone. None of my friends
had lost parents. Yet here I was, young and newly married, feeling a
deep sense of loss in my life.
Five months after my Mom passed away, this aunt lost her own 91 year old
mother. Her loss drew us together like a magnet. Three years later,
when her own husband died, she showed her resilience during her time of
deep loss. The bond between us grew even more.
What started as visits and spending time together, grew into a deep
loving relationship. She became the "adopted" mother to me, and when my
children came along, she became their "adopted" grandmother. She came
to every family event. Never failed to send birthday and anniversary
cards. We enjoyed going to lunch or just out for ice cream. Shopping
excursions became a fun day. At Christmas, my kids would decorate her
whole house. For twenty five years, she was a fixture in our lives.
As her health began to fail, it became necessary to move her into an
assisted living facility. My children and I helped her downsize from her
home to a little apartment. Then came the day when she could no longer
live alone. A caregiver was hired to tend to her needs.Visits became
more difficult.
When a stoke finally left her with little strength, it broke my heart to
see her struggle. Dementia started creeping in. But she never forgot
us. Her eyes would light up and a smile would shine on her face whenever
we came to visit.
Through all the years, the one thing that radiated within her, was her
unconditional love. It wasn't just with our family, she loved and cared
for everyone that came within her radar. She took meals to lonely
widows, even when she was a widow herself. She visited anyone who was
sick. She was a party girl, and loved being included with family and
friends. Everyone loved her as much as she loved them. At times she
would tell me she didn't think she was very pretty. But in my eyes, she
was beautiful. Her smile alone was like a ray of sunshine.
In all the years we shared together, I only heard her speak once of a person who had hurt her. But she never withheld her love.
We don't always seek out close friendships with people older than our
peers. But my life has been richer for having experienced this kindred
spirit. I learned so much from her and deeply miss our times together.
She will be forever in my heart as an example of sharing unconditional
love.